Jewish Dating in NY & LA

November 16, 2007   |   By (see 's Profile)   |   Filed Under Advice, Society 

I’ve heard numerous complaints about the lack of quality Jewish singles in both New York and Los Angeles but few can truly articulate the reason.  The oft repeated phrase is “quality not quantity ” in  a place where there should be plenty of both. When you look at sheer numbers, there are actually plenty of potential matches but I’m not quite sure that the problem is the quantity and it’s more the expectations that are set in these two prime time, competitive cities and the lack of good company is more a lack of good values and reasonable expectations.

I went out a few years ago with a pretty girl who seemed to be a few years past her “prime” and had gained a couple of extra pounds since then but nothing atrocious. She is a TV producer for a well known news show and has some depth to her. Unfortunately during the course of conversation I couldn’t help but get cues that she was attracted to money and financial success and that no matter what substance may lurk beneath the surface, ultimately what you saw was what you would get.

She liked me. We went out for a third or fourth date and met one of her friends – this was after she invited me over to check out her new apartment (nothing really happened there except good talk and I learned how Oprah has great editors and money to burn for it.) Her friend seemed to take a shine to me and then, in one sudden moment, my date says to me “Oh… I’m worried. I really like you but I don’t know if you could afford me.” Her friend was shocked and I could see the recoil. She told my date that she couldn’t have meant it but she knew. It’s the same reason why this TV chickie was dating guys with two kids — who spoiled her with various “gifts” that only those with money to burn on women do so.

The moral of the story is that we are better off finding someone we truly appreciate first and then seeing later whether they can be a reasonably responsible partner. Decide whether meeting the right person on a personal level is most important to you before even thinking about whether you will be able to live the lifestyle you are accustomed. If you are more concerned with the latter, as are most New Yorkers and not just Jews, then you’re doomed to be disappointed. There are numerous single forty-somethings still believing that Prince/Princess Charming (not just Mr. Charming) is around the corner. I’d rather be happy and poor than single, lonely and have a few extra dollars under my belt. In the former situation I’d be truly wealthy… good luck to all of you daters.


Got something to say?

You must be logged in to post a comment.